


I Hate How I love You

by Niamh



Series: Originsverse [9]
Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-21
Updated: 2013-01-21
Packaged: 2017-11-26 09:13:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/648978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niamh/pseuds/Niamh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This takes place in the Originsverse, some time after the birth of the Summers’ twins – though not in the Destinies timeline.  You won’t understand that unless you read Destinies.  A little bit of Faith and Jenner. . . with a mention of Spike and Buffy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Hate How I love You

**_Yet, love and hate mee too,_**  
 ** _So, these extreames shall neithers office doe;_**  
 ** _Love mee, that I may die the gentler way;_**  
 ** _Hate mee, because thy love is too great for mee;_**  
 ** _John Donne, The Prohibition_**  
  
 ** _I hate, and yet must love the thing I hate._**  
 ** _Publius Ovidius Naso, Amores_**  
  
 ** _Here’s much to do with hate, but more with love._**  
 ** _Why then, O brawling love, O loving hate,_**  
 ** _O anything of nothing first create,_**  
 ** _O heavy lightness, serious vanity,_**  
 ** _Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms._**  
 ** _Romeo and Juliet, act i, sc. i, lines 176 - 9_**  
  
 ** _Struggling over my fickle heart, love draws it now this_**  
 ** _way, and now hate that — but love, I think, is winning._**  
 ** _I will hate, if I have strength; if not, I shall love unwilling._**  
 ** _Publius Ovidius Naso, Amores_**  
  
 ** _I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair._**  
 ** _I hate the way you drive my car._**  
 ** _I hate it when you stare._**  
 ** _I hate your big dumb combat boots, and the way you read my mind._**  
 ** _I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme._**  
 ** _I hate it, I hate the way you're always right._**  
 ** _I hate it when you lie._**  
 ** _I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry._**  
 ** _I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call._**  
 ** _But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you._**  
 ** _Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all._**  
 ** _Kat Stratford, 10 Things I Hate About You_**  
  
  
  
  
He hadn’t seen her in six months.  Six long, lonely, angry months.  
  
She’d stormed out of his house, all silent fury and slamming doors, refusing to speak to him about anything – not giving him a chance to explain or plead his case or even figure out why the hell she was angry – just staring at him with cold, flat, almost dead eyes.  The harsh words she’d flung at him had echoed in his head for every day of those six months and Jenner hated them.  Hated them almost as much as he’d hated her in the days following her flight.  
  
Now, though, he realized something even worse.  
  
He loved her.    
  
How the fuck Faith had managed to get under his skin, evoke emotions he’d long since tucked aside, Jenner had no idea.  Two months into her absence and he’d very nearly called Spike to get his insight into how Slayers ticked and what made them run.  Instead, he’d thrown himself into a territorial battle – over _shipping rights_ , of all things – with two other vampire factions.  He still had trouble believing it some nights.   It had taken him another month to sort that out, and he still missed her.  
  
Missed her smart-assed, bitchy, vulnerable self.  
  
Jenner heaved out a heavy sigh, easing his big body down into the least comfortable chair in his office.  He hated the stiff, wooden back, but it was the only one designed to keep him awake when the paperwork threatened to send him to sleep.    
  
His eyes drifted toward the only photograph he had of her.  It was her, Buffy and Buffy’s two infants, who were now not so small.  The picture was nearly six years old, and last he knew, Spike and Buffy were adding to their miraculous offspring.  Rubbing his thumb over Faith’s figure, Jenner wondered if this was the time she wasn’t ever going to come back.  If this was the time she decided six years with a vampire was more than enough, and she just wasn’t going to put up with their differences any longer.  
  
“You keep rubbing that picture, it’s gonna disintegrate.”  
  
Her voice crawled over his skin, raising the fine hairs on the back of his neck and his arms.  Without looking up at her, he said, “Sometimes it’s easier to touch when I know I’m not going to get a fist in my face in return.”  
  
“Yeah, well, about that. . .  I might have over-reacted.”  She shifted in the doorway, leaning on the jamb, one arm braced against the other side.  “Newbies almost didn’t let me in.  Hawkins had to okay it.  What’s with the new security?”  
  
“Had some trouble couple of months ago.”  Jenner didn’t elaborate and Faith didn’t push.  
  
“So.”    
  
“So.”  He put the photograph down, finally glancing up at her.  “Are you staying?”    
  
Faith shifted, obviously thinking about moving closer into the room and then stopping short.  “That depends.”  
  
“On?”  
  
Her sigh matched his and she finally did come into the office.  “On whether my side of the bed is still mine.”  
  
Jenner leaned back, eyeing her steadily.  He wasn’t quite sure what she was aiming at, though he figured he’d play along for a bit.  “Hasn’t had anyone else in it.”  
  
“No one?”  Faith leaned over the desk, her cleavage nearly falling out of the low-cut blouse she was wearing.  “Not even any of the newbies?”  
  
Understanding dawned.  This was the reason why she’d stormed out in such a snit, why she’d refused to talk about what was bothering her, and why she’d stayed away for so long.  He’d made three new vampires in the six-weeks or so before the fight.  She must have suspected he did it for other than muscle, since two were females, and the other. . . the other was definitely shaggable, whether you were male or female.  “No.  None of them.”  
  
“Not even the hottie?”    
  
Jenner looked at her sharply, one eyebrow lowered.  His jaw was twitching, though not from anger.  That had dissipated the moment her voice sounded in the room.  “Haven’t touched him.”  
  
“Really?”  
  
“Faith.  What is it you really wanna say?”  There was more to her storming out over newly turned vampires. . .  _Unless_.  Sudden insight dawned on him.  “This isn’t about how shaggable they are.”  
  
She didn’t answer him.  In fact, she stepped away from his desk, moving instead to stare out the window to his left, the one overlooking the Avon.  City lights twinkled in the glass and he could just make out the line of her profile.  He knew better than to ask her where she’d been, who she’d been with, what she’d been doing.  The faint traces of smoke and whiskey hung around her, and the raspy tones of her voice gave enough away without him pressuring her.  Jenner had long since learned that lesson.  Questioning Faith only led to more fights, more anger and, for the moment, he was just content enough to have her back.  
  
“So my side is empty.  I’m gonna go hit the shower and crash.”  She still refused to look at him, preferring to stare out into the darkness.  Faith hesitated a moment, as if waiting for him to speak, and when he remained silent, she headed out of his office.  
  
“Faith.”  He started to get up, but she backed away, moving quicker to avoid this conversation.   
  
“Not now, Jenner.  Just . . . not now.  Maybe after I’ve had some sleep.”  
  
She was gone before he could say anything else.    
  
He couldn’t even summon up enough anger to toss something breakable against the door.    
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
“Yeah.  I’m here.”  Faith sighed into the cell phone, knowing what was going to be said before the words were even forming.  “Look, B. . .”  
  
“Faith? If you weren’t planning on talking to him, why the hell did you go back?”  Buffy’s confusion was clear, even from so far away.  A vision of the blond, with her arms crossed over her chest and eyebrow raised almost brought a smile to her lips.  “And don’t gimme that crap about it being complicated.  Coz, hey, I wrote _that_ book first.”  
  
Despite her fatigue and on-edge nerves, Faith smiled.  “Doesn’t mean I can’t write a sequel.”    
  
“Door’s still open if you wanna come back.”  The low rumble of Spike’s voice came through the connection indistinctly and Faith waited, knowing he was about to add to Buffy’s comment.   She wasn’t disappointed.  “Spike says that you should shag him for three straight days and then make a decision about coming back.”  
  
Neither woman could control their laughter, though it died quickly.  “I dunno.  He acts like I wasn’t even gone and I think he still doesn’t get why I left.”  
  
There was absolute quiet on the other end, until finally, after a very long pause, Buffy said, “Do _you_ get why?  And why it bothers you so much?”  
  
“I was wicked pissed when I left. And yeah, I know why.”  Faith leaned down, untying her boots.  “Asshole went and made more vamps, after he agreed he wouldn’t.  And freaking females, too.”  
  
“And why does that bother you so much?”    
  
“Christ, B, you know why.  We talked about this.”    
  
“Yeah, we did.  But you still didn’t tell me exactly why.  Is your pride more hurt or is it because you do actually love him?”  
  
“ _Fuck_.  I _don’t_ wanna talk about it.”    
  
“Faith. . .  Just talk to him, okay?”  
  
“Yeah, yeah.  I gotta go, I need to shower.”  Before Buffy could start in on her again, Faith quickly disconnected the call.  Heaving out a sigh, she tossed the phone onto her dresser, then grabbed something to sleep in and a couple of towels.  Thankfully, the rooms she shared with Jenner had their own bathroom and she was spared the ordeal of having to use one of the shared bathrooms.  It was bad enough she’d had to rely on Hawkins to get her back inside the estate, and how much that set off her already short temper.    
  
Faith wasn’t even entirely sure why she’d come back.  Didn’t seem to her Jenner had even missed her.  Except for the fact he had been holding her picture.  
  
Refusing to think about it any further, she turned on the taps full blast and stepped under the water.  _I’m not gonna think about him.  I’m not gonna think about anyfuckingthing right now.  I’m just gonna wash and then go to sleep._  
  
Knowing it was easier said than done, Faith resolutely fought her own mind.  
  
          
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
“I know you’re still awake.”    
  
She could barely make out his silhouette against the darkness from the hallway.  He hadn’t bothered to turn on a light, had just opened the door and stood there.  Deciding against answering him with an obvious remark, Faith remained quiet.  
  
“Get up, Faith.”  Jenner stood in the doorway for another long moment and when she refused to react, he put one foot over the threshold.  “I said, _get up_.”  
  
He’d never used that tone with her before, sounding more like an angry father than her lover – almost daring her to disobey him so he could put her over his knee.  When her hesitation increased, he stood at the end of the bed.  She could feel his eyes on her and though she refused to roll over and look at him, Faith knew his arms were crossed and his stance was poised for action.    
  
“I’m trying to sleep.”  Faith buried her head into the pillows, pulling the blankets up to her shoulders.  
  
“No, you really aren’t.  You’re hiding, Faith, like you always do.  So knock it off and just get up.”  
  
 _Damn him.  Damn him to every hell dimension and then some, fucking vampire._   Knowing her bluff was called – and quite possibly for the last time – Faith threw off the blankets, nearly hitting him in the chest.  “Fine.  I’m up.”  
  
“Get dressed and meet me down the hall.”  
  
He didn’t wait for her, which just pissed her off even more.  She wasn’t sure which set tinder to her temper, whether it was his tone of voice or the parental disdain or. . .   Faith couldn’t decide and as she slipped into her jeans and boots, she knew ultimately it didn’t matter.  The argument she wasn’t entirely ready for was about to happen.  
  
What she was really unsure of was how it would end.   
  
Or how she wanted it to go.  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
                      
  
Jenner stayed in the shadows, staring out into the night sky, watching as the lights of Bristol twinkled and went out.  The cold seeped into the glass, mid-winter refusing to give up its hold on the west coast of England.  He could hear her footsteps on the wood floors, her heels clumping closer and closer.    
  
He waited, until she was fully into the room, until he could see her reflection clearly in the dark glass, overlaid where his should have been. "Why do you always do this? Is it easier to run away like a child rather than face things as an adult?"  
  
Faith remained silent, merely crossing her arms.   
  
"What is it you’re so damn afraid of?" Jenner finally turned to face her, his pose mirroring hers.   
  
The silence stretched between them, long past the point of comfort for either one. Faith turned her face away from his scrutiny, her eyes focused on a point over his shoulder. When she finally spoke, her voice was tense and sharp. "I’m not afraid."  
  
"Could’ve fooled me." He hadn’t really expected her to just jump into the truth, though her continued willful lying disappointed him. "How long have we been doing this? Back and forth and . . . I’m bloody well tired of it, woman."  
  
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Her hands dropped to her sides, fists balling against her legs.   
  
"It means we’re going to deal with this." Finally moving away from the window, Jenner stepped closer to Faith. "We’re not leaving this room until we talk."  
  
When she didn’t respond, he walked to the door and slammed it shut. "Why did you leave?"  
  
"Do we really have to do this now?" Faith circled around him, heading for the door, but at the same time giving him a wide berth. "I’ve been traveling all day and I’m tired."  
  
"If you were all that tired, you’d already be asleep. You’ve been lying in the bed for over an hour." Jenner wasn’t giving her any leeway, any wiggle room to get out of the conversation they should have had before she ran away. "Talk to me, Faith."  
  
"Why? You never fucking listen when I do." Jenner had moved to block her access to the door and Faith rocked back on her heels, her hands still balled into fists. "We’ve talked and talked and nothing gets settled."  
  
"Bullshit. You don’t listen to me.  You don’t want to hear anything I have to say." He stalked closer, looming over her. "You shut down when things get too complicated and you run away. So now I’m done with letting you do that."  
  
Faith leaned away, as if she were afraid he’d hit her, then realized abruptly what she was doing.  Shifting forward deliberately, she moved closer, crowding Jenner.  “I don’t wanna talk about this now.”  
  
“Too bloody late.  We’ll talk now, not when you’ve come up with some half-assed excuse.”  He punctuated his statement by crossing his arms over his chest, his jaw set and eyes granite hard.  “Six years is too long to keep playing this game.”  
  
“I don’t have to answer you.  You aren’t my father.  You’re just a guy I sleep with when I want to scratch an itch.”  The instant she finished speaking, Faith knew she should’ve kept silent.  That wasn’t how she felt about Jenner and they both knew it for the lie it was. . . but she hadn’t been able to keep her mouth shut, hadn’t been thinking, had just lashed out at him.  Using any means to keep him at arm’s length.  To keep him from hurting her first.  
  
“You bleedin’, lyin’,  heartless bitch.”  Jenner grabbed both her shoulders, shaking her hard enough to snap her head back.  “When are you going to stop fucking lying to yourself?  And to me?”  
  
Instinctively, Faith raised her hands up, breaking Jenner’s hold on her shoulders, and she lashed out with her right fist, catching him squarely on the chin.  He barely reacted physically, though his eyes grew colder and his right hand caught her fist as she swung a second time.  “We are not going to fight, Faith.”  
  
“What the hell?  It’s what you wanted.”  She twisted free of his hold, pivoting on her left leg and jabbing a quick thrust into his thigh with her right foot.  
  
Jenner captured her foot, tossing her easily so she landed on her back.  “I don’t want this kind of a fight.”  
  
Quick as a cat, Faith was up, springing easily to her feet.  “Well, it’s what you’re getting.”  
  
This time when she swung, he was ready for her.  Using his size to an advantage, Jenner reached out and plucked her up, holding her away from him, keeping her deadly feet out of range.  “We are _not_ going to fight.”  
  
She struggled in his hold, trying to force her fingers between his to break his grip, squirming and wriggling to break his concentration, the whole time tossing curses and imprecations from her lips.  The angrier she got, the calmer he appeared, which just incited her more.  Faith managed to bend one of his fingers back, breaking it and his hold on her shoulders.  Jenner dropped her, grabbing his finger and pulling it back into alignment.  
  
“ _God damn you!_ ”  He flexed his fingers for a moment, staring down at his hand.  “I _fucking_ told _you_ I didn’t want to fight!  Why do you always hide behind your fists?”  
  
“I’m not hiding.  I’m just really tired of always talking about shit, that’s all.”    
  
The coughing snicker that emerged from Jenner’s lips earned him another wild swing from Faith’s fist, but this time he was ready for her.  Stepping into the punch, Jenner bore the brunt of it, diffusing it before she’d put her full strength into it.  With his left hand, he held her still, lifting her up just enough to keep her from regaining her balance and then he roughly tapped her with his right fist.  Faith snarled, digging the fingers of her free hand into his, trying to gouge her way free.  Jenner tsked at her, his fist snapping her head back, the second blow harder than the first.  “Keep it up, Faith, and I’m just goin’ to hit you harder each time.”  
  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
  
“Untie me, you bastard.”    
  
It was too much to think she’d wake up slowly and disoriented.  In all the years they’d been together, never once could he remember a morning when she’d been groggy or lethargic, not unless she’d made another futile attempt to drink him under the table.  No, Faith was one of those people who was wide awake the moment her eyes opened.    
  
“Not happening.”  
  
She struggled with the handcuffs he’d used to secure her to the bed and the ropes he’d used on her feet.  Despite the tugging and cursing, none of the bonds gave.  Faith knew they wouldn’t – after all, Jenner had commissioned the bed with these circumstances in mind – but she couldn’t stop herself from trying.    
  
“Why the hell did you do this anyway?  What the fuck is wrong with you?”  
  
He chuckled, which just pissed her off even more, and she bucked up her hips, hoping to dislodge something.  “You better fucking lemme go, you goddamned vampire freak.”  
  
“Is that the best you can come up with?  I was sort of hoping for better.”  
  
“Lemme go and I’ll give you better.”  Faith snarled at him, unable to see him moving about the room.  
  
“No, Faith, I’m not letting you go.”  Jenner moved to the side of the bed, so she could see his expression.  “Not until you listen to me.”  
  
“Having me tied up like this is not gonna get me to listen to you.”  She turned away from him, staring out into the opened window.    
  
“Maybe not, but at least this way I know you can’t run away when you don’t want to hear what I have to say.”  
  
“That’s because you’re just gonna lie to me and I don’t wanna hear it again.  You’ve said it all.”  Faith refused to look at him, even as his big hands forced her head around to look at him.  “Dunno why I even bothered to come back here.”  
  
“Because you know you can’t resist.”  He smiled down into her half-opened eyes, his grin very reminiscent of another vampire’s.  “You Slayers are all alike, drawn to the best.”  
  
“Oh, _don’t_ fucking kid yourself.  I could walk away and never look back.”  Faith pulled her chin from his hold, growling out the words.    
  
“You could.  And you still might.  But, Faith,” Jenner grabbed her chin, making her face him again, “You know you’d always be wondering, remembering, and regretting.  So stop lying to yourself and to me.  We both know better.”  
  
Having nothing more to say – especially about that – Faith chose to remain silent.  They both knew she could protest and defy him, but after six years of being together and knowing each other’s weaknesses and strengths, neither one of them could deny their emotions.  Love, hate, respect, contempt – it was all there – in a far uglier and raw nature than their counterparts in Sunnydale.  And the truth was, though no bonds like the ones between Buffy and Spike kept them together, they couldn’t deny the ones they did have.  
  
Neither one of them would be happy without the other.    
  
Faith closed her eyes, refusing to look at him any longer.  Didn’t want to face the truth of his words or his presence.  Instead all she did was sigh deeply and ask softly, “Let me go.”  
  
“No.”  
  
“Why not?”  
  
His long drawn out sigh was more of an indication of his lack of temper than one.  When he was angry, Jenner didn’t sigh, didn’t breathe – just acted.  If he’d been really angry, Faith knew she would’ve woken up far differently than naked in their bed.    
  
“Because, Faith, the only time you’ve ever willingly talked – really talked – is after we’ve locked ourselves in here for a day or so.”  
  
“Oh, we are so _not_ doing that.  No way.  No how.  Unfuckingtie me, you bastard.”  Faith tensed the muscles in her legs, trying to snap and somehow wriggle through the knots he’d tied.    
  
Jenner’s smirk broadened into a wide grin the more she struggled.  “Faith, you know that’s not gonna work.  I learned how to tie knots long before your ancestors left this place.”  
  
“Fuck you.”  
  
“Well, it’s possible that’ll happen.”  When her entire body tensed, Jenner laughed.  “You didn’t really think I’d let you go until I’ve shagged you rotten.”  
  
She bucked up again, trying to find some weakness in the ropes he’d used.  “David. . . you better fucking untie me.”  
  
His laughter deepened and he dragged one thick finger over her skin, flicking her nipples.  Her scent, the anger rolling off her almost had him drooling, though he fought through his own arousal.  “I’m not quite prepared to do that.  I rather like you this way.”  Jenner traced a soft line up and over the hair covering her pussy.  “Though _this_ has to go.”  
  
“Oh, you are _not_. . .  Jenner . . .  Lemme go.”  
  
He moved away from her and Faith thought for a moment that he was going to untie her.  That hope was shattered when his hand closed around her ankle, holding her leg down against the mattress.  “No, Faith, I’m not gonna let you go.”  
  
His hand traveled up the length of her leg, his fingers teasing her folds.  “I’ve got you right where I want you to be.  Why on earth would I let you go?”  
  
“Because when you finally do let me go, I’m gonna kick your ass.”  Faith growled, her voice deep, raspy enough to set the hair on his nape on edge.    
  
Jenner leaned down, his mouth just over her ear, his voice equally as low.  “No, you won’t.  Because when I’m finally done with you, you won’t be able to walk for a week.”  
  
Before she could react to his words, he’d moved away.  His fingers tweaked the nearest nipple, twisting hard.  “Not for a fucking _week_ , Faith.”  
  
She snarled something nasty, though he chose to ignore it.  Instead of responding, Jenner merely smiled at her, his lips twisted in the mockery of a sweet kiss.  The snick of something metallic bit the air and the scent of something woodsy tickled her nostrils.  Faith bucked her hips again, trying once more to loosen the ropes.  “Lemme go.”  
  
“Stay still, baby.  Don’t wanna cut you. . . at least not until I’m ready.”  Jenner leered at her, then licked his lips.  “But don’t worry, babe, I’ll only let you bleed for a little bit.”  
  
Her glare could’ve cut glass, her eyes were so diamond-bright, though Jenner did nothing but smirk at her.  “Not funny, you jackass.”  
  
“Not trying to be funny.”  He slapped her hip, admonishing, “Hold still.  This is really tricky.”  
  
He didn’t give her another chance to speak, his free hand covering her mouth.  “Really, Faith, just stay still.”  
  
Removing his hand, Jenner crawled over her bound leg, placing himself between the outstretched limbs.  Without looking away from her eyes, he slathered warm shaving gel over her mound, then flashed the straight-edged razor through her line of sight.  The blade slid across the taut skin of her belly, barely there.  Faith tensed, holding her breath in as he moved the blade closer and closer to her center.  His name hissed out from between her clenched teeth and she fought the urge to move.    
  
His eyebrow edged upwards.  “Faith, if you move. . .  Just stay still.”   His hand stilled, the razor precariously close to her clit.  He purposely moved away, though, on her next breath, bringing it back to the top of her mound.  A strangled moan broke from her and Faith glared.  Neither one of them was sure if it was anger or lust that fueled her growl, though Jenner took it for lust.    
  
He swiped fast this time, wiping the razor edge across the towel at her hip, then slowly dragged the tip over her skin.  A thin, fine line of blood welled up, drawing his attention away from her face.  A low hum rumbled through his chest and Faith’s entire body tensed again, anticipating his move to lick over her skin.  Before he did, Jenner ran the tip over her other hip, arrowing both lines downward, toward her clit.   Jenner let the blood pool, teasing himself.  His fingers itched to take her, his tongue swiping over his lips.  Faith watched him, her breath caught in her throat.    
  
His eyes closed, and Jenner inhaled deeply, letting her scent fill him.  His hands weren’t steady when he moved again, the razor’s edge nicking the top of her clit.  Faith bucked her hips upward and Jenner caught her, one hand holding her steady.  “Easy, baby. . . keep breathing for me.”  
  
“Lemme go.”  
  
“Can’t.”   He slid his fingers into her folds, stretching the skin around her pussy so he could shave her cleanly. His voice was deep, a bare whisper of sound. “Gotta finish.”   
  
Jenner’s dark eyes left hers, focusing on her pussy.  Faith’s hips shimmied, the razor scraping over her sensitive flesh.  “Oh, fuck.”  She wriggled, unable to keep still.  His touch was driving her crazy, her skin flaming under his not-so cool fingers.  “Holy, fucking. . .”    
  
The scent of blood and earthy shaving lotion was thick in the air and coupled with the sharp tang of Faith’s arousal, Jenner was trying harder than he’d thought he would have had to, to maintain some control over himself.  His eyes bleed gold and he kept a tight rein on the lust – blood and otherwise – threading through his muscles.    
  
His voice was low, barely above a whispered growl.  “Faith, baby, you gotta stay still.”  
  
He could feel her eyes boring into him, could imagine the anger glinting out of the dark depths of them, her anger written in clear lines on her usually mobile features.  He didn’t dare look away from what had captured his attention.  Didn’t dare break his concentration to assure himself she wasn’t murderously angry . . . only mostly so.  
  
There was blood pooling along the thin cuts he’d made, mixing with the shaving lotion.  His mouth was watering, fingers and cock itching to be sheathed inside Faith’s warmth, but he was determined on his self-appointed task.  She needed to be kept off-guard, needed to be knocked off-balance and kept guessing.  And he?  Jenner knew he needed to re-establish some sort of control in their relationship, otherwise he’d lose her.  She’d walk all over him, emasculate him with her words and fists, and he’d never have her respect again.  He couldn’t – wouldn’t – allow that.  He had something with Faith, something real and solid and he needed for her to see it, to acknowledge it.  It wasn’t just fucking, fighting, and a mutual itch-scratching.    
  
Tying her up and shaving her was just a means to an end. . .  Jenner just hoped it didn’t backfire on him.  
  
He wasn’t ready to let her walk away.  
  
And that scared him.  
  
He looked down, surprised to find that she was completely bare, thin rivulets of blood mixed with the remnants of the lotion he’d used on her skin.  Jenner leaned close, inhaling deeply, a feral smile breaking out on his features.  “Fuck, woman, you are so damn delicious.”  
  
“ _David_. . . I swear to fucking god, if you don’t. . . at least untie me so we can finish what you started!”  
  
“Mmmmmm.”  Jenner reluctantly rose from the bed, his fingers trailing up her torso.  He cupped her chin, drawing her face toward him.  “Maybe.”  
  
“Maybe?  What the _fuck_ does _maybe_ mean?”  Faith pulled away from his touch, anger clear in her voice and her expression.    
  
Jenner walked away, heading for the bathroom.  “It means just that.  Maybe.”  
  
Faith was too angry with him – couldn’t believe he was able to walk away – to even think of a retort.  Hissed and spluttered curses spewed from her lips and she was nearly growling when the sound of water penetrated her senses.  “What the fuck are you doing now?”  
  
He paused at the doorway, a bowl cradled in his hands and a towel slung over his shoulder.  “Gee, baby, what does it look like?”  
  
Jenner made short work of washing her, reopening the thin cuts and letting fresh blood pool on her skin.  Deciding he’d had enough, he moved the bowl to the floor and leaned in close to Faith’s hip.  He nuzzled her there for a moment, just enjoying the aroma wafting from her.  His tongue snaked out, licking over the path his razor had laid earlier.  Faith squirmed, her hips arching off the mattress and Jenner took advantage of the movement to slide a pillow beneath her.    
  
His husky, “Thanks for the offering, baby,” went right through Faith and despite her earlier vow to not give in to him, she moaned.    
  
Two swipes of his tongue over her folds and Faith was bucking up, her arousal pitched feverously high.  “David. . .  _Please_ untie me.”  
  
Thrusting two fingers into her pussy, Jenner kept up his oral assault on her clit.  He was murmuring sounds into her skin, nudging her higher and higher.  There was no mistaking how close she was, how ready to explode into his mouth. . . and he knew exactly what would send her over the edge.   Jenner slipped into game face, his razor sharp teeth clamping down gently on her tender skin.  He felt the unmistakable quivering in her thighs, heard the gasp in her breath, the thunder of her heartbeat and Jenner waited, drawing out the moment until he sensed everything hitch, poised for the one thing that would send her off. . .   He bit down, his fangs penetrating around her core and sucked her hard.  Faith screamed, her entire body rigid and then the sound of shattering wood echoed all around them.    
  
Faith’s hands dug into his hair, fingers nearly boring into his skull, holding him there as she rode out the pleasured pain.  His name was a long shriek, deep and raspy and Jenner allowed himself to growl smugly, triggering yet another orgasm inside her.  
  
She was gasping for air, panting heavily into the air, her limp body unable to answer her mind’s commands.  Jenner hovered over her, his arms pushing away the splinters of wood.  He gathered her into his arms, his cock brushing against her bruised opening.  “You still with me?”  
  
“Huh?”  
  
“Gonna . . .” Without any further words, Jenner slid inside her, settling into a slow and languid rhythm.  He knew she couldn’t handle anything harder, could smell the blood coating their groins.  Faith turned her fathomless dark eyes on his.  “That’s it baby, nice and slow.”  
  
Aftershocks of her explosive orgasm tightened her muscles around him and Jenner growled, the feel of her strangling his cock threatening his slow pace.  He drew out his thrusting, slowly slipping in and out of her pussy, every little move triggering yet another orgasm.  She whimpered, tears flooding in her eyes and he whispered softly, his thumb gently brushing away the pooled moisture.    
  
“Oh, baby. . .  You make me crazy.  Fuck, I love you.”  
  
Faith’s eyes widened, fear warring with acceptance.  She started to speak, but his hand captured her face and held her still.  “I do mean it.  Not just saying it . . .”  
  
Once more she tried to speak, though no words came.  She couldn’t. . .  Faith hadn’t once imagined he’d felt this way. . . thought she was alone in her emotional ties and that, more than anything else, had frightened her.  He had more power over her than anyone else in her life. . . and she couldn’t live with him if he didn’t feel something.  She tried again.  “David. . .”  
  
“Sh, Faith, I know.  I’ve known for a while.  Don’t say anything.”  
  
“What if I want to?”  
  
He leaned on one elbow, leaning in to brush a kiss across her wide mouth.  “Then don’t let me stop you.”  
  
She lapsed into silence, her eyes darting away from his.  A slight frown marred her features, her brow furrowing in a pale imitation of his game face.  Faith cleared her throat and the words died.  Her mouth was dry, to dry to form words and she couldn’t. . . tears pooled again and her entire face crumpled.  Harsh sobs wracked her and she tried pulling away from him, curling into herself.  Away from his eyes, from his emotions. . .  Away from her own.  
  
“You shouldn’t. . . I’m so fucked up.”  The tears wouldn’t stop, though she fought them.  Jenner held her close, didn’t let her fold in upon herself.   His hips thrust against hers, and he yanked her closer. 

  
“I do.  And it doesn’t matter.  Say it, Faith. . . just say it.”  
  
Faith hid her face in the crook of his neck, her tears wetting his skin.  “It’s okay, baby.”  
  
Panting, gasping for air, her fingers dug into his arm, squeezing hard.  “I . . . _fuck!_ ”  A sniffled whimper escaped from her and Faith rolled closer.  “I love you.”  
  
He held his tongue, knowing anything else he said would ruin it, would destroy the trust and lessen the importance of what she admitted.  What she allowed him to see.  Instead, he held her close, rolling onto his back and even when she tried to move, tightened his grip on her.

 

 


End file.
